February updates

The kids are at a fun stage – loving, funny, affectionate, clever, charming, eager learners. 

James loves playing pretend.  For the past month, we have been assigned these roles:  “Jamers” is a horse, mommy is a zebra, Simon is a camel and Shanti the cat is a trashcan.  I know, totally funny assignment for the cat.  He adores her, spending lots of time chasing her around to give her a hug, whisper a secret to her and marvel at how soft she is.  But in our game, she is the trashcan.

Whenever something is cute or small, James’s voice goes high.  The smaller or cuter, the higher the voice, until we can barely hear it.  Although the caveat to this is bugs, which James does not prefer.  It seems partially that he is scared of them and but also that he just doesn’t know what they are going to do.  If pinecones on the snow look like bugs, he won’t walk past them until assured that they aren’t bugs.

James has entered into the “It’s okay” stage of childhood in our house. I remembered when Alma hit this stage around the same age. It always strikes me as so odd that a little child would offer such reassurance.  It is the solution to any problem.  Spilt your milk?  “It’s okay.”  Fell while running?  “It’s okay.”  Did something you were told not to do?  “It’s okay, Mommy.”    Alma is still fully embedded in this stage.  I somewhat didn’t even realize how often she and I say this until James started chiming in with the phrase.  Now all four of us are constantly telling one another “It’s okay.”

Both kids are becoming more independent – James can put on his own jacket (flip trick), buckle his own booster seat, cleans up toys quickly and eagerly, and is well on his way to learning how to dress himself; Alma can do her car seat buckles, get herself completely ready in the morning (picking out her clothes, dressing, gathering her things, putting on her jacket, shoes, and other outside gear). 

Both kids are easy to put to bed these days.  Luckily, Alma’s “I’m hungry pleas” seem to have come and gone.  I’ve been allowing the kids to wrestle on the futon that lives on the floor of James’s room after they get their PJs on and before we read books together.  They are very cautious of each other – Alma pining James down while he laughs uncontrollably.  He isn’t easy to pin and they both work hard and really get to breathing hard in the process.  They are so tired from that 20 minutes of wrestling that they have been falling to sleep very quickly.   Joshua, on the other hand, is totally not a fan of these wrestling matches during the bedtime routine, feeling that they rile everyone up too much.  I totally agree that it riles them up but I feel that they really need that time together.  So wrestling happens when he is working late or traveling. 

Coupling this (relative) ease in putting them to bed with the fact that no one is potty training and both eat relatively well (even if Alma still won’t drink milk), this should be an easy time of parenting.   It is a happy, loud household, which is both a blessing but also tiring at times.

The marathon aspect of parenting is a challenge.  There are breaks but never long enough to feel fully refreshed when entering back into the fray. Battling high rates of whining from both (especially Alma) also wears us down.  My biggest challenge is not losing my cool when she starts whining.  It makes me shut down and not think creatively about how to move past it.  I’m working on trying to keep a peaceful attitude while also consistently encouraging Alma to speak with a different voice.  My mantra has been the whining in 1% of a child who is 400% awesome and that (with consistent work) it will sort itself out soon enough.

One thing that has helped me deal with the busy schedule we keep is being better about taking breaks – to work out, do things with friends, and explore new topics.  I feel that going back to work has been a great way to make me really appreciate being home with my family even more.  The kids are our worlds but it is great to have a balance that makes me more present to them when we are together. 

I cannot explain how grateful I’m feeling these days for all of the terrific things in our lives.  I remember when Alma was born and I could feel all of the love from our family and friends come pouring in and it was wonderfully overwhelming.  I’m feeling a similar overwhelmed by love feeling most of the time these days; but this time it is my love and appreciation for all the great people and situations in my life.  I wouldn’t change a thing … except maybe the whining.