I'll admit it: I think Alma is pretty much the ideal child. I love spending my days with her and feel as if we have such a good rhythm to our days and that life is rather easy with her. In prepping for the coming of our next child, I've been trying to think of ways that I want to apply what I've learned with Alma to the next baby's upbringing. Sure, they will be different and we cannot replicate the process, but I just want to be mindful of the current successes and failures that we are experiencing. Here it goes...
Things I'm Happy We Taught Alma/Alma Does on Her Own:
* "All done"/"Not an option" We sign something that looks like so-so (shaking hands with palms open) to mean that we don't have something, something is completed or that something isn't an option. This has been
invaluable for us as we don't have to say "no" all the time, but can instead convey that some things just aren't possible. For example, before she could say any words and was just barely signing, I could use it to tell her that at certain times I could not provide something (i.e. nursing, a snack, etc). And nowadays it is useful for telling her that certain activities aren't allowed (i.e. climbing too high on a fence that overlooks the ocean). Alma is great that she generally doesn't push the limits on this sign.
* To say please and thank you. I find that I cannot tolerate a toddler screaming demands at me. But add a little please ("peas" or "bee") and thank you (usually just the sign) in there and I can deal with any demand.
* To sit down when eating. This not only keeps the mess down in the house, decreases the odds of the dog snatching her food and keeps me from having to worry about her choking, but it also creates the situation where eating is something we do on a scheduled basis and not just on the fly. So many other mothers seem to spend all day chasing their kids around trying to get another bite into their mouths. Alma seems to respect the idea of meals and snack times, more by her own nature than my teaching. Although I think the fact that she has to sit down during the process helped to reinforce this.
* To clean up toys before moving to the next activity. She isn't volunteering do to this, but most days she easily jumps in on the suggestion if we help with the process.
* To say "nice". Alma has started using it to acknowledge things she likes. Like when she came into the living room after I hung some new curtains, when she was put into her crib with fresh sheets and when I gave her a cup of milk spiked with a taste of hot chocolate. It is such a sweet sentiment.
* To pray before meals. Alma loves to "circle up" (holding hands), bow her head and close her eyes for a moment of silence before meals. While this is actually something we feel a little bashful about at times -- we don't want to be
those people -- it is such a great habit that she usually instigates. And sometimes, if dinner is especially tempting, she will nibble at it without the use of her hands, which is hilarious.
* The idea of "Only Mama's". This concept is applied to food that I
don't want to share. Like cookies and miniature candies. When I tell
her that certain food is only for me, she solemnly says something like
"mama eat mouth" to acknowledge that it is just for me.
* To read books by herself. She will sit for up to an hour looking at books by herself before she demands that you join her and read the words. I love hearing her tell herself the stories that she sees. While I always hate not being a part of the process (the side effect of working from home is that I sometimes have to do some work during the daytime), it's easily one of my favorite things.
Things I Wish I Had Not Taught/Allowed Alma:
* To say "Yuck" This has become a recent favorite word of hers. A word that accompanies pointing at the offending object. Usually that object is whatever I'm eating. Imagine trying to enjoy a salad while your little one repeatedly points in your bowl and screams YUCK, BLAH, YUCK! It's hard enough enjoying a salad some days. Hence the miniature candies, right? Yesterday at the grocery store, the deli counter employee gave Alma a slice of American cheese, to which my darling little girl yelled YUCK. Charming. She also signed "no thank you" but all anyone heard was the yuck comment.
* I got in the habit of only singing "The Ants Go Marching" when putting her down for naps and bedtime and now she won't allow me to sing anything else. I'd like to change it up, but we seem to be too entrenched in the habit. Not such a horrible thing, but worth noting for me.
* While we don't watch much TV during the day -- maybe 30 minutes two days a week -- we have been using it for messy diaper changes. For awhile I just could not get her to sit still and started turning it on for the length of the diaper change to distract her. It started becoming norm. Makes me frustrated; but so does a wiggling bum smearing ... I'll stop there. I think that I've almost curbed this bad habit, but it's been difficult.
* Sitting on my lap when I use the computer. It is impossible to type with a squiggly little one on my lap -- my ever-shrinking lap as my pregnant belly grows -- and I wish that I had never allowed this to be an option.
There are a load of things I'm missing from both lists, but this is what is on my brain today and what I want to remember about my 21-month old.
