Toilet Learning

This picture makes me laugh.  Alma being the supportive older sister, James trying to smile, my trying to garner enthusiasm for the photo.  Ha!

James is Growing

First Day of School

September Update

As the children get older, I am finding it more difficult to sum them up in words.  When they were babies, it was easy enough to sum up James as crying a lot and Alma as independent.  But now that they are their own people, words cannot fully capture the complexity of their ever-flexing nature.  Due to this struggle with words, I’m finding that I’m hesitant to write and share anything but I also do not want to mis-remember this awesome time in their lives.  Without trying to put them in a box, here are some thoughts I want to remember about this time in our lives….

James is such a happy kid and brings a lot of laughter and enthusiasm to our lives.  He is quite the talker and loves to tell silly stories (usually about things bonking someone on the head) before bursting into a laugh and assuring you “that’s a silly story.”  He physically cannot- not dance if music is on and always prefers rock-n-roll with a special love for old school (nearly garage grunge rock) Nirvana and Red Hot Chili Peppers.  He is still very snuggly and sucks his middle and ring finger of his right hand while the other hand goes towards his belly button (unless I’m doing the bedtime routine with him and then it goes in my belly button  -- I know, weird, but sweet too, right?).  He still loves playing with balls (throwing, catching, kicking), reading, puzzles, and gets excited about trains, construction, going on runs around the neighborhood, pick up the cat and loving every dog he meets.   His is just starting to get the hang of dressing himself but does not seem to have the strong feelings about these sorts of things like Alma did at this age.

Alma, while not the first one to laugh loudly, is a joy to be around and is all about finding the fun and interesting viewpoints to situations.  She is extremely insightful and creative.  Alma loves family members with abandon and often asks about extended family.  She wants to know all about everyone and when we will see them again.  She is also very in tune with other’s emotions and always on the lookout for ways to be helpful and supportive.   With any obstacle I face, her most common statement to me is, “It’s okay, Mommy” which she will repeat until I have a smile back on my face.  She loves helping James -- picking out his clothes, getting him dressed, getting him a snack.  Her somewhat misguided messages to her brother provide a great peek into her psyche.  For example, when he began toilet training, she suggested to him that he eat all his meals while sitting on the toilet so that he could get there in time.  This just makes me laugh. 

Alma loves school, especially her friends whom she loves to hug.  She does not seem to prefer large groups and can be a bit of a “watcher” until she is comfortable with the situation, although not all the time.  She often surprises us by making fast friends at the playground instead of her default energy of hanging back with us and not responding to other’s interactions.  At times, I think that some kids find Alma difficult to read and try desperately to engage her.  When I’ve gone to school events, more than once I’ve overheard other little girls asking Alma privately, “Are we friends?” and then acting very excited when they get a very subtle positive response from Alma.   When we go to birthday parties, all the kids seem happy to see her and cheerily yell “Hi Alma!” which she hides behind my leg. I have a feeling that when I am not around, she is bolder and can stand on her own quite well.   Or, in areas where she feels comfortable (e.g. our local park), she moves with ease even when large groups of possibly intimidating older children are present.  One funny story: One day at the park, Joshua, James and I were sitting on a pack bench watching Alma swing by herself.  Some tough-looking older boys came right up to her and told her to get off the swing.  She just stared them down with a hard brow.  They walked away muttering that she was rude.  Ha!

Alma still loves the idea of princesses and her favorite color is now blue (and pink and purple) due to a love of the Frozen movie.  She and James finally had a chance to watch Frozen last weekend, when I felt that they were finally mature enough to not be horrified by the tenser scenes from the movie; previously, James was horror-stricken by even small things like the snowman losing his nose.

The kids love to play together and seem to need at least an hour of uninterrupted play time together every day to create a sense of balance in the house.  Although, given more time, they can play for hours on end.  They take a very collaborative approach with Alma still leading and James occasionally drawing the line with some demand which, if not incorporated, will cause him to threaten to leave the game.  Alma usually consents and then they continue playing.  At times, Alma will simply play a pretend game with toys while James passively watches. 

When James began potty training two weeks ago, Joshua suggested and implemented a plan for allowing James to listen to his body, instead of forcing him on the toilet every 10/30 minutes.  This method worked so well for James.  When he feels he has to go, he just runs to the bathroom and takes care of everything by himself.  It’s amazing and I’m so grateful that Joshua is so child-centered and trusting of the process.  While James has accidents daily, he also has a lot of success every day.  When he has a success, we celebrate with a candle (and a song of “You pee’d/poop’d in the potty; You are such a big boy and we’re so proud of you,” to the tune of Happy Birthday), a sticker for his progress chart (a poster board with a drawing he and Alma did of a train on tracks to a large picture of James and Alma going to her school together – the goal of potty training is to get James into her Montessori school in January when he is three and potty trained), and a little chocolate chip.  James loves the attention and seems to really want to be successful.  It’s be an awesome experience and reinforces in me some lessons about how children learn in a positive, accommodating environment.

Other news:

• James and Alma are still in the same programs as they were in all summer so that made the transition back to school easy.   They both seem happy in their programs.  James will join Alma at her school in January once he is three and toilet trained; I’ll be happy they are in the same place.

• Both kids are taking swim lessons now – James in a parent’s arms and Alma with an instructor, which is fun to watch.  They both have huge smiles on their faces the entire class.  The plan is that in the winter when he switches schools, James will take a break from swim lessons.  Alma will switch back to ballet in the spring and then take swimming again next fall. 

• In the Spring 2015 semester, I will be teaching a geography course at the community college where I work: Geography of the US and Canada.  Should be fun!  I’m still working in the Grants Office at the community college and consulting for the National Resource Centers at the University of Pennsylvania. This month we find out if a bunch of grant programs for both of these schools get funded,  which could make for a busy 2015 for me.

• I’ve been reading a lot with my Kindle which I got for Mother’s Day.  Since I have a library card from both Philadelphia and Bethlehem, I’m able to check out lots of books with no commitment to make it back to the library to return them by a certain time.  I'm in reading heaven with no pressure to finish anything. My evenings and mornings have been spent with lots of biographies, best sellers and young adult lit.

• Joshua should provide his own update.  But since that probably won’t happen … the summary is that he is working a lot (what else is new?), giving the rest of his energy to making the rest of us happy (cooking, cleaning, back-flipping if necessary), and working out when he gets a moment.  Last weekend he cleaned out the garage, which is where he has his gym equipment.  Now he has more room and a cleaner environment, which makes us all happy.  The kids and I adore him beyond words. 
• We just celebrated 8 years of marriage.  We passed the point where we have been married without children as long as we have been married with children.