My Own
Development: Undergraduate Experience’s Influence on My Life
As
with many individuals, my undergraduate experience strongly influenced the trajectory of my life. My time inside the classroom isn’t a crisp memory. While
the Jesuit education I received taught and modeled solution-finding skills as
opposed to knowledge retention, which has certainly positively influenced my
approach to academic and business opportunities and challenges, my time outside
of the classroom was the most transformative.
My eyes were fully opened outside of the classroom settings and through
my perception of how other’s perceived my academic talents. Through sports, studying abroad, a changed
major and justice-centered social service, I graduated from Loyola University a
changed young woman.
Sailing Team
Growing up I played tennis competitively
and believed that I would be recruited to a college for my athletic
skills. However, due to an injury during my
senior year of college, I ended up attending college on an academic scholarship
with the intent of focusing my energy on my physics major and inclusion in the
Honors Program instead of a sport. I was
not accustomed to studying so hard and not having a physical release of energy
that tennis had provided and struggled both academically and socially my
freshman year instead of continuing my education. During Christmas break, I tentatively signed
up to serve as a librarian at a convent in Nebraska. Luckily, my parents forbid this decision and
sent me back to school with the goal of finding a community. We knew that I needed some semblance of my
“old life” in my new college world, including close friends, sports, and large
amounts of fresh air.
Around this same time, I heard that
the sailing team was looking for members.
Without any sailing experience, I signed up and participated in both my
first practice and race later that week.
While we sent two teammates to the hospital (hypothermia; concussion), I
was hooked on the wild pace of races, the excitement of harnessing the power of
the wind to create speed, and the close relationships formed with fellow
sailors. I am grateful that I was able
to be guided to the sailing team, which created some of the elements of home
for me.
Thailand
I choose to attend Loyola due to the
strength of their study abroad programming, especially the long-standing
program in Thailand. I was thrilled to
leave for Asia the week after classes ended my sophomore year. Ever the adventurer, I found ways to spend
most of my six months traveling throughout Asia instead of attending classes[1] -- a month taking a train
across China, half a month meditating and living silently at a Buddhist
monastery, a month scuba diving in the Gulf of Thailand, a week hitchhiking
throughout Northern Thailand, time in Malaysia being chased by wild monkeys, seeing
the sunrise over Angkor Wat in Cambodia, and being amazed by the pace of Hong Kong. I found to travel in Southeast Asia to be easy
because the exchange rate was favorable and I wasn’t picky about accommodations
or luxuries. I had not traveled much
prior to my time abroad but once I returned to the US, I have spent the time
since putting in over a year’s worth of backpacking days, completing solo
drives and train rides across the country and spending a year helping a
sailboat complete an around-the-world adventure.
Female in STEM
Physics and mathematics were my
childhood academic loves. I was jointly
thrilled and nervous to begin in Loyola’s small physics department my freshman
year. With only five students in the
major (total at the school), I was the only female ever to have enrolled as a
physics major at the institution. As I struggled with the transition to
college, I began to question my skills and my base of academic work – in my ancient
literature-focused Honor’s Program, math, and science work. While I found
support in my main advisor, my classmates (many of whom were engineering
majors) were full of disparaging remarks about women in the field. After each exam, feeling I had failed, I
would walk over to the appropriate department and change my major to anything
else besides a STEM discipline. Upon
getting my exam grades, which received fair marks, I would change my major back
to physics. This cycle continued until
my junior year when my final project (a robot who detected light and then moved
towards it) got its neck stuck. While
the issue was simply one of needing additional lubricant for a component and
not my programming or implementation skills, I was told that it did not work
because I was a female for the last time.
I walked out of the lab and never walked back.
I
graduated with an economics degree and mathematics minor. The fact that I am not a scientist is still a
sore subject for me. My graduate degree
– Geography and Urban Studies – was a means of pairing my science love with my
economics background. In my career, I’ve
made it a point to spend a significant amount of time focused on funding
projects that act as supports for women and minorities perusing STEM
degrees. I hope that if my 7-year-old
math- and planetary science-loving daughter wants a STEM degree, she will have
a different experience.
Social Justice
At Loyola University in Maryland,
there is a strong culture of student community service. Within my first semester as a freshman year,
I began borrowing a vehicle from the University’s fleet and driving down to
Fell’s Point to serve a meal at Beans and Bread every Thursday morning. I would leave campus at 8 a.m. and arrive
back on campus at 1 p.m. for my 4-hour Thursday physics lab class. This time – driving alone in the car, navigating
the city, serving alongside the septuagenarian volunteers, and building strong
relationships with guests – created both the sense of independence and
connectivity I craved. Each week I would
pause in my volunteer work of serving the meal to eat lunch with the guests,
mainly Bernard and Laura. Bernard was an
elderly man who lived down the street in public housing and he had the
wonderful southern drawl of a Baltimore native.
Laura was a thin, blonde, homeless heroin addict. Depending on the week, she would either be
chatty and extremely hungry or would fall asleep at the table. Bernard, Laura and I enjoyed this standing
date every Thursday throughout my four years in Baltimore. After I graduated, I attempted to keep in
touch with Bernard with little success.
I still think of them often. They
were the first economically disadvantaged individuals who I knew on a personal
level, which changed how I perceived the world as I can tap into the feelings
of friendship and love when studying economic and political issues.
Summary
Our late
teen years and early 20’s are transformative times – moving away from home,
increased exposure to new ideas, opportunities for adventures – but I also
believe that Loyola University provided a wealth of varied opportunities for me
to pursue. From sports, academic service, and social opportunities, the University’s diversity of offerings allowed me
both to engage in the familiar and to explore. I’m grateful for that exposure
but also wonder how much (or how little) exposure is presented to other
students, especially non-traditional students.
While
my tale of my time in a STEM discipline was disappointing, it also demonstrates
for me the tenuous emotional states of college students. Undergraduate years can be a time when
students fight the feelings of being “frauds” and question their skills with
the increase in both the quantity and difficulty of academic work, while also
going through the transition away from the familiar. I wonder how these issues are addressed in
current higher education institutions to provide to students beyond academic
supports.
[1] At my university in Thailand (ABAC), the
attendance policy only requires students to attend a third of the class
sessions and grades are based on relationships with professors. While I scored well on the final exams, I
tutored my teachers in English to build a favorable relationship with them. I receive high marks during my time abroad,
even though I rarely attended in-person classes.
