Waiting for Alma

Here's a message I wrote to a friend on this day 12 years ago...

I'm feeling SUPER, thanks for asking! I oscillate between thinking that we will have a Turkey Day babe and realizing that I'll probably go past my due date like most first-time mothers.

I'll be happy with whatever happens. Although this waiting is driving me a little crazy. It's like knowing there is going to be an awesome party and it will change my life ... but someone forgot to tell me when the party is going to happen. So I'm sitting around in my fancy dress, with my hair just so and my feet in somewhat uncomfortable heels, just waiting. The expectation is thrilling!

Raising Alma these last 12 years has been such a joy.  I feel that she raised us into parents. I continue to learn so much from her -- about being humble, looking out for one's community, seeing situations in a different light, and finding joy, adventure, and humor in situations.  I love that one of her most common phrases is still "It's okay."  

A funny example of how Alma sees things differently from me: The other day, she told me that she feels bad for the bus driver, who has to say "you're welcome" to all the students as they get off the bus.  This fact made me laugh because I bet the bus driver loves that every child says "thank you" while exiting the bus.  But Alma felt so much compassion for the driver, who she felt must be bored of doing that every day.  Another example is Alma's love (or disdain?) for the fact that I've totally become "a mom" and now cannot remember (or worse -- mispronounces) the names of pop stars, makes corny jokes, and does a variety of embarrassing or cringe-worthy actions each day.  

While she is headed into her teenage years (I know, not yet officially), I hope she continues to hold onto the independent, free-thinking, and loving core that we know to be her center.

The above photo is from November 2009 at the South Philly High School where Simon played fetch every day while we were pregnant with Alma.  The below photo from November 2011 when we were waiting for James.  I have such special memories of that time with Alma, who was (and still is) my special buddy, always up for an adventure.  

Bright Yard

 

Missing Our Funny Pup

The house feels very lonely without Simon always keeping track of us.  He's always been close by and every space he used to occupy is still filled with his energy.  I'm finding it difficult to work from home -- every time I sit down to type at the computer, I'm accustomed to his head finding a way onto my lap and his void makes my eyes tear.

I'm so grateful for all the happy memories of Simon that buoy my spirits ... along with the silly videos and all the photos.  I miss his soft head and feel that I will always remember how it felt to pet him.